The Hall of Diction Ary

Alrighty, all you wordcreators out there, stop your cryin’. Your opportunity has come. Well, it was always there, but you probably just didn’t know until my sagacious blog filled your wordcreating brain with a new hope. The particular dictionary of Merriam-Webster seems to have very minor qualifications to induct a new word into its book of fame. You can achieve these qualifications as easily as Palin can name a newspaper. (Err, crap, perhaps a little more difficult than that.)  All you need is the human mind, the ability to speak, and a little bit of social networking-although, I suppose, those who are mute could create new signs (like these children).

According to Merriam-Webster’s website, their editors daily scourge magazines, newspapers, books, etc. to find new words or even new uses of words (impossibler!). The website also mentions that “Any word of interest is marked.” 

So, flipping through the dictionary, I come across “camel hair: 1) the hair of a camel or a substitute for it, 2) cloth made of camel hair or of camel hair and wool.”

Already, there are so many chances for your success!! Ape hair isn’t in there…take a shot at that one! Make a fun little phrase of it…and just make sure to define it correctly: “ape hair: the hair of an ape.”

I think I’ll take swing at this. Hmm…how to make a word of interest. Let’s see. One of my favorite new phrases is “bloop bloop.” Unfortunately, the transitive verb “to bloop” is already recognized in Merriam Webster, but minimally defined more than “a backformation of blooper.” 

Here’s my definition:

“bloop bloop: royally screwing up and laughing your guts out until they form a six pack.” 

Now here are some fictional scenarios to show prime possible contexts for “bloop bloop”:

“I almost stripped up the stairs and slammed into Keira Knightley! ” said Steve Carrell in anxiety upon receiving his first Emmy.

He bloop blooped. Big time.

Let’s go for an undirty, nonsexual one. In honor of the Nicaraguan children:

The little girl with rose petal cheeks looked up at her mother, eyes condensing with human rain, and said disappointedly, “Mommy, I bloop blooped in the bathtub.”

Uh, did I say undirty? Guess I meant unsexy. This is definitely unsexy. And also completely different from the definition I had previously assigned. Gotta love the English-language rule of …NO rules! One word can mean many, many, many things!

So please, spread your knowledge of all the different animal hairs and other fun new phrases and take your shot at making this impossible-to-master list of words (i.e., the English dictionary!) even more inconceivably impossibler. (Use impossibler enough, get it published, or just get someone who is good at getting published to use it, and no longer is it improper but irregular!)